Divorce should not be the easy way out

Jaimie Thomas

Lauren Clark

English 101

November 18, 2010

Growing up as a child with divorced parents, really compelled me to write about divorce and its affect on the family. As a Christian, I have been born and raised to believe that marriage is the sacred bond or unification of a man and a woman and should not be broken. When a man and a woman decide to get married and commit to one another, he or she should agree that neither one of them will end the marriage no matter how difficult it may be to stay together. From the biblical viewpoint, marriage simply falls short of God’s ideal plan for a life-long relationship between one man and one woman. If the marriage is broken, so is God’s plan. In the Bible, it is written that “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:46; Mark 10: 6-9)
All of this may not seem convincing for those who do not follow God’s plan, but God’s plan happens to go hand and hand with finding true love, and who doesn’t want to find that in one’s lifetime? Happy marriage can exist, my grandparents generation has the lowest divorce rate of any people group still alive. Studies show, people aging from 53 to 72 have a divorce rate of 37%, and couples over the age of 72 have an 18% divorce rate. These numbers are far more significant than what we see now. Almost everyone around us deals with divorce it seems like, and it is only continuing to grow. Right now, 50% of all married couples living in the United States will get divorced at some point in their lifetimes. America is terrible at giving things a chance or practicing patience for that matter. “American culture is about quick fixes, and divorce plays into that.” Because divorce is becoming more common, people are beginning to have the mentality that one can get married and if it doesn’t work out, he or she can always get a quick a divorce and be done with it forever. Marriage is not designed to be this way, if people are going to get married thinking divorce is always an open option, then those people should just date because marriage is not meant to dissolve or discontinue if things do not work out.
The media is highly responsible for divorce. Movies and television shows are full of divorce, separation, single parenting and adultery. Sometimes, divorce is depicted to be sad and wrong, but usually divorce and adultery will be presented as if splitting up would be for the better in the given circumstance of the characters in the movie. Viewers feel like that is a reflection of his or her own life and there is nothing wrong with ending a marriage. In the 2006 film, “The Break-Up” featuring Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn, the couples nasty split is portrayed to be more comical than damaging to the characters. Also, the characterization of the male and female roles were quite unrealistic interpretations of American adults. The male role was supposed to be immature, not serious about work, lazy, crude, sarcastic and never satisfied. The female role was completely the opposite because she was way to intelligent for the job she worked, apprehensive and uptight about the house being spotless, nagging and superior to the husband role. With such extreme opposites in personality, how could two people ever stay together in real life? People may not realize that in reality, these two types of people would never have been attracted to one another in the beginning and most likely would have never been married. Essentially, it is next to impossible for two completely opposite people to continue in a relationship neither of them want to be apart of which is what creates and intriguing story for a movie. People today, find a mate based on compatibility with another person and if the other person makes them ultimately happy. The movie was wrong because neither of the two characters in the bad relationship could make each other happy. This contrasts with real marriage today because a husband and a wife tend to make each other happy at some point in the relationship or else they would have never gotten married in the first place. People watch all of these movies where the main characters get divorced and seem to be happy or liberated after being under marriage’s trap. It is easy to say we are highly influenced by what we see on television because movies are supposed to be a fictitious depiction of real life occurrences.
With divorce being so common and becoming even more popular as time continues, it is hard for people to find hope for the possibility of a lasting relationship. It is possible and can be done. Two very important requirements for a happy marriage include trust and selflessness. Married people have to trust one another or the marriage simply will not make it. Constant worry and fear about what a spouse may or may not be doing will drive one crazy to the point of breaking, so therefore it is paramount in a relationship to have trust and the ability to confide in one another. One cannot be selfish in a relationship either because the ideal marriage plan from God is for the wife to submit to the needs of her spouse and the husband is supposed to be the ultimate provider for the relationship and family. Marriage requires teamwork, man and wife have to put each others needs before his or her own in order to be happy. Honesty is another very important factor for a long-lasting marriage. A husband and a wife must be fully honest with each other about everything because the truth will always surface and then problems arise. Honesty goes along with trusting one another, so if honesty is established in a relationship then the couple should have no trouble trusting one another.
Although it seems almost impossible anymore to maintain a healthy, happy marriage, it can be done. Divorce should not be the easy way out, which lately is made out to be a quick way to solve the problem. Marriage is a sacred unification between one man and one woman until death prevails. Movies and television are such an inaccurate interpretation of how divorce affects its victims. Also, movies tend to glamorize divorce as something that has become necessary for anyone who needs an out. Marriage is not supposed to end just because it can, in fact it is not always easy to stay married to the same person forever, but the fact is, it can be done. Robert Sexton once said, “In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare.  Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.”

Works Cited Page
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Köstenberger, Andreas J., and David W. Jones. God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2010. Print.
Murrell, By Abbey. "Love, Marry, Divorce, Repeat." ASU News | The State Press | Arizona State University. 7 Sept. 2010. Web. 18 Nov. 2010.
Robinson, B. A. "U.S. Divorce Rates: for Various Faith Groups, Age Groups and Geographical Areas." ReligiousTolerance.org by the Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance. 20 July 2009. Web. 18 Nov. 2010. .
Sexton, Robert. "Marriage Quotes, Sayings about Husbands and Wives." The Quote Garden - Quotes, Sayings, Quotations, Verses. 9 Sept. 2010. Web. 18 Nov. 2010. .